I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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