Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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