Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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