her vagine was all disorganized.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
