Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
