That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Randomize
