I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
