dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
