Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize