They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
