I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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