I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
