i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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