Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
