White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
