it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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