Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
