yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
