so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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