I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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