these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
