he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
