you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
