Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
