dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
