ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
