Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
