Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize