you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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