What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
