Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
