Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
