i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
