absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
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Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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