I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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