HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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