Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
