do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
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I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
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the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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