I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
