i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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