Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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