So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
