The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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