hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
