In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
