Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
