What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
