We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
