My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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