bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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