Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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