what is college for if not random hookup sex?
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳