I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
