I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.