honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
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You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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