i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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