she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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