You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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