everyone is single if you try hard enough
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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