so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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