I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
