living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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