actually, I'm a sock model
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
