If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
