No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
