I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
