Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I've blown a few things in my day
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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