I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
