i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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