ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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