he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
