so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
